Upon Further Inspection...

I've said it before that Sundays can be technically seen as off-days during Lent, although not everyone chooses to use them as such. On this fourth sunday of Lent (halfway, there guys), I decided to cave into an impulse, and checked Twitter for a brief amount of time. I can't say what got into me, but it gave me a necessary spurt to use for a topic of discourse (which I've been at a loss for since Happening). Moving right along, let us get this show on the road (and, yes, I know it is past 10 PM, and, yes, my AP Chem homework can wait right now, thank you very much).

So, what did I see? That seems to be the question at hand for this post, does it not? I suppose the best thing to say would be... nothing out of the ordinary. Tweets of the generic variety, sports tweets (on that same note, how did the Lady Gamecocks play, eh?), Walking Dead live-tweets, attempts to be creative (I'll avoid talking about whether said attempts succeeded at a noticeable rate). It was like clockwork. Angsty, awkward, whiny, clockwork. Like, seriously, think back to the High School days of Cogsworth from Beauty and the Beast.

I guess it should be noted that my first instinct was to immediately notice the things that kinda made me want to barf once I opened twitter on my PC (I had deleted the app off of my phone and iPad, and I wasn't about to reinstall them for one day). Mostly the bitching. Y'know, like uuuugggggh math is trying to kill me and dang, I hate how I'm not noticed enough. People dwelling on little issues like this, expanding them into the little sonnets of angst we call tweets. I hope I don't have to describe this any further than I already have.

So, other than that, Mrs. Lincoln, how was the show?

Alright, so, I rediscovered the headache Twitter had been giving me for years (which is what you get when there are hundreds of voices talking all at once on a little screen like that). Frankly, I didn't find anything that would make me want to come back to the grind. I'd be leaving all the calm I've found within myself, I'd waste far more time, and I'd get really freaking frustrated from time to time. In other words, life without Twitter is far more satisfying than life with it.

I could devote this entire post to the idea that twitter is a cesspool of human garbage and vice. I could try and play the "holier-than-thou" card and try to champion myself as the one who saw the light and will make things right. I could be working on this damn AP Chem homework that I knew would cause me trouble (oh, sorry, off topic again).

Instead of sinking down to the bitchy-whiny echelon, I'm going to do something that your grumbling AP teachers have pressed you to do since you were assigned your first psychological free-response document-based argumentative manifesto: ANALYZE.

How did leaving Twitter affect personal relationships? I knew from the start who actually mattered and who didn't, and I was able to confirm my suspicions.

What good stuff did I miss out on? Funny stuff from comedians, a lot of @midnight Hashtag Wars, opportunities for puns, probably some delightful exchanges between my peers.

Could I go back? Well, I think the days I've had off really have allowed me to learn, and returning to Twitter won't kill that vibe off. But quitting Twitter for me was like quitting smoking. It was getting rid of something that could not have fulfilled me completely, and why would I want to go back?

On the other hand, leaving Twitter kind of reminds me of the fear I shared in the last post (which was way too damn long ago). I'd be walking away from my past, the good and the bad, and trying to refresh and find new ways to communicate. Almost, like, going to college, or somethin'. There certainly are a bit of ramifications to just walking out.

I have had impulses to just let my account rot away and not return to it, even when Lent ends in a few more weeks. I seriously will consider this more in-depth for the time being, and I'll have a conclusion at some point. But one thing is for sure: I've still got a few more days to learn and breathe in the air. I've got a great show coming up, I've got schoolwork to be engaged in (can you not just feel the excitement in this one), Lord knows what I could do for my mostly vacant Spring Break.

Forget this whole post, anyway. I've seen what I've left behind, and I need to get back on program. My thoughts were long since due to be shared again, so I wasted some precious time to get this text onto the screen. Hopefully I can be a little less angsty in the future.

So, I'll say goodbye again to the Twitterverse I walked away from, and get back to my program. So long to the pleasures, but mostly, so long the grievances.

You're the reason I'm a-travelin' on.

Don't think twice, it's alright.

Mornin' Hays, signing off.

So, What's Next? (From The Notepad, Vol. I)

Hell, yeah, I'm back! That sure was a long time without hearing my voice, wasn't it, faithful readers? Nevertheless, I am not short of thoughts for tonight's post. It might be hard to get me to shut up this evening.

So, this weekend I was at Happening #71 at Camp Gravatt (or, Gravatt Conference Center, but it's the same thing in the end). Happening is a "mountaintop experience" weekend for high school youth (particularly of the Episcopal denomination, but we welcome all). I got to be on music staff, rockin', rollin', praisin' the Lord and whatnot. That was fun and refreshing, indeed, and the other guests at the event surely would agree.

It was also nice to turn off my phone for the duration of the event from Friday evening to Sunday afternoon, as I got more time to concentrate on the beautiful facilities around me and to do some writing. Or, by writing I mean that I grabbed an old memo pad and started jotting down non sequitur thoughts in as small handwriting as possible. I concluded that this form of short, impulsive-thought based writing to myself was just a surrogate for Twitter (which I have now gone without for almost two weeks). Yeah, it was kinda weird, all my friends who gave me curious glances as I jotted away on the memo pad will be pleased to know that I planned on adapting most of those thoughts into blog posts. And I am doing that now.

So, as a lot of you who have read previous posts might recall, a big motif for my Lenten venture is relationships with other human beings. Yeah, I know, it's hard to believe that other people exist. This is especially true at events like Happening, which throws you into a crowd of complete strangers that become close friends through your mutual experience. An experience that few others can understand. But I digress.

People who go through Happening almost always face concerns about leaving the "mountaintop" and life not being quite the same back at home. After all, home doesn't always have Gravatt Squares. But there is a real concern about leaving the close friends that guests have formed within a matter of days, who they open up to and feel such a strong, unspoken bond.

As much as I would hate to bring up something so negative about an event that has changed the lives of thousands of youth for decades, including myself, this is a topic that intrigues me. People we know, coming and going, even as we hope to know them forever. Last night's How I Met Your Mother also addressed this topic (a show that I have dearly loved and will be very sad to see conclude in two weeks. Again, this is a motif that intrigues me). It all kind of makes ya think, don't it? More specifically, it makes you think this:

I might not see any of these people I know again. HOLY SHIT WHAT AM I GOING TO DO?

It really is a hard thought, and I've been holding it in my mind for quite a while. This is mostly due to the large quantity of close comrades I have who are seniors, and I will have to cope with their increasing absence from my life. However, it also becomes very real and, frankly, quite frightening when I consider that I'm about a year and a half away from having to start again myself. Even more folks will fade away from my life, going in completely different directions that I can't stray from my current path to follow.

I want to be able to say that I have an answer to this fear. I have been able to come out of other blog posts with answers, but I cannot give a resolution to this one. This is something that I cannot change, this is something the people I know cannot change, and this is something that you cannot change in your own life. And it ruttin' hurts to think about it.

It sucks hard because you want to try and do as much as you can for others when you realize that you have such a limited amount of time with the people around you before they vanish from your life, but you can't seem to make time or effort, or even your best feels unsatisfactory.

There are sudden pangs you have where you begin feeling this early, as if everyone is already gone. It's just an impulse, typically fueled by rage caused by, say... frustratingly attempting to complete unfinished work in the wee hours of the morning, but you can't help but remember it.

It attacks in so many ways. There's no sole point of entry of these feelings into your mind. And I want to say "seize the moment you have now," but, again, how can you do that when you barely find yourself able to reach out to others in your own hectic life (and to an extent, your self-absorption). You even begin to question whether you truly matter to these other people who you consider friends-on-a-timer.

Holy. Shit.

So, as you can see, my brain works in a funny way while jotting down on a notepad. It can actually be quite cynical. I am not the only person who has had paranoia like this, and I expect that a few people who read this will sympathize. I won't try and answer these concerns, but I will express some optimism. I mean, I've gotten to talk to a few people I hadn't in a long time, and I think shit is actually going pretty well for me at home, as a whole. And, I have to admit, even as superficial and vice-forming as they may seem, social media has lessened that burden, albeit by a small amount. And, if nothing else, we can always hope to find new people as the old ones fade away.

I guess there is only one answer I have now:

Don't even think about it.

It's mostly angst anyway, right?

Mornin' Hays, signing off. Especially because Mornin' Hays has to start signing onto doing some deferred Pre-calculus homework.

No Bitching Day

There's a Lutheran church in Colorado that came up with an idea for something to do each day of Lent. I loosely follow these guidelines, but there's one on day eight (which isn't until Thursday, but I'll be out that day), that suggests "No Bitching Day." I rather like this idea.

Of course, we know that they could just be saying "no actions involving female dogs day," but let's just go by the colloquial definition we all have for the word. Wouldn't it be nice if there could just be a day where folks stopped complaining and appreciated life a bit more? And made life a little more pleasant for those around them? Yeah, you know exactly what I'm talking about. So, as an early way to celebrate "No Bitching Day" in Lent, I'm going to play the guru to help you find peace about stuff that pisses you off, and maybe help you bitch a bit less. Guru Qui Cho Bichen is here to answer your spiritual questions (although, if you don't respect this post and try to defile Guru Bichen, you might have to hear from his friend, Dr. Gofa Q. Selff).

Also, I would like to point out that I'm a sinner and I have issued several of these complaints from time to time, and I still might in the future. But for the times where bitching is totally unnecessary, here is my counseling, not to serve as cures, but as alternative ways of thinking.

Why do they expect us to wake up so early in the morning for school?!!!

Go to bed earlier. Or don't put off work until midnight. But we both know that likely isn't going to change anytime soon.

They aren't teaching us ANYTHING! I CAN'T LEARN!

Ask for help. Most teachers are reasonable enough to explain things you don't understand, and in the rare cases where they aren't, there's bound to be a peer of yours who is and is willing to assist. If this is hard for you, then you'll eventually learn in this post that the key to a better, less bitchier life is swallowing your pride.

My schedule is too crammed and I have no free time! Ugh!

Well, if this is was not in your control, then go ahead and complain, but be a little quieter about it. Otherwise, I'm going to preach this issue as if it was something you knew would happen and you find that complaining helps you survive the constant action. I find that this is often the case, as most of us plan out busy schedules for ourselves in the first place, whether knowingly or not. This is because that the nature of the present day adolescent requires a constant flow of activity, and we tend to regard any time not spent out of the house or doing something as time wasted. My advice, then, would be to appreciate the time that you are spending and instead of dreading it in the moments leading up to it, use your remaining time to get some last-minute stuff done you couldn't otherwise. On the flipside, there's always something to do if you find that there is a gap in your itinerary. Use the time to rest or reflect, and don't worry about not being busy with something else, because, hey, those moments come pretty rarely, as it turns out.

My friends never talk to me! Am I a loser? Are they just cruel?

....nooot really. This is more of an impulsive phase. Thinking back to the times where we aren't already focused on something and have difficulty in dealing with it, it is also really easy to think that the moments that aren't spent in rapidfire texting/Snapchatting/carrier pigeon-messaging are times where our friends don't appreciate us. For some, it's easy at this point to immediately descend into hopelessness, thinking that our relationship with them was all superficial every time they post a pic on Insta with (gasp!) a different friend. It's during these times of anger that the truth is that we have specific people in mind we want to talk to, but heaven forbid those no-good fake friends turn down a chance to talk. This often results in a lot of whiny Tweets about being alone out of an inability to speak directly, which is an internet vice I am glad I do not have to see for a while. Your best bet, at this point, is to do the unthinkable and TALK TO THEM. That's something Captain Introversion here has always had issues with, but dammit, if I can make improvements, so can you.

Corollary to above entry: I have a feeling that I'm ranked, like, 23rd on Jonny and Jenny's list of friends.

For starters, 23 ain't a bad number. Just ask Michael Jordan. This issue is one that occurs when people think that their friends aren't giving them the attention that all their other buddies are getting. And Francesca? Seriously, you hang out with FRANCESCA and not me? Oh, it is on, douchebag.

Basically, we feel like we aren't close enough with the people that matter to us. This notion is especially popular with the concept of the "friendzone," wherein many a youth has felt like their attractive colleague of the opposite sex has denied them any appreciation in return for the current friendship. There are questions you must ask if you feel like you aren't fully being appreciated by your companion: "Is this impulse?" and "Can I find a way to make a best out of the situation?" This means that you need to first verify that this isn't the spontaneous empty feeling of not having anything to do. I believe I made that clear, and for a lot of people, this renders step 2 unnecessary. But should it come to step 2, just consider the rewards you've reaped from the relationships you currently foster. You can't expect everything from everyone, and you have to yield some time for them to live their own lives. Hell, use this time to try and talk with others who you may not interact with as much as you should. You'll make time with the other guys, and it will be all right. Also, in the case of the "friendzone," I'm going to sum up a few words from a Cracked article I can't get the link to: "The real friendzone is the trying-not-to-ruin-the-friendshipzone." Be a freaking friend, or burn that bridge.


That's just a few things I got to say. Maybe it will serve as good insight for myself even, when I'm having a shitty day and feel inclined to bring up one of this bitching points.

These are just my personal beliefs, but maybe if you utilize them, you could lower down on complaining on social media through indirect accusations at your peers or a flow of sad Johnny Cash lyrics (especially considering that unless you have had your chest clawed down to your waist by an ostrich, you do not have it as bad as Johnny Cash did).

Mornin' Hays, signing off.

A Bit of Rest

Sundays aren't counted in the 40 Days of Lent. Days of rest essentially. Technically, you are even allowed to briefly return to whatever you gave up. For tonight, though, I'm just going to provoke a fewer less thoughts than normal and just recap a bit.

• Yesterday, I posted an article about UNC basketball and faith. The results of last night's game should be used as further evidence that faith endures a lot of shit. And that was a lot of shit in Cameron last night. I don't want to talk about it anymore.
• Twitterless life is still going well. I'm still more productive as a worker (got a catapult built today, no big deal) and I've had much more time to budget and concentrate. And blog! But I'm just stating what I already have said, and I imagine I'll have much more to say about that all once Easter comes.
• Thursday night through Sunday evening, I'll be at Camp Gravatt serving on Music Team for Happening #71. This is a retreat for high-schoolers that awakened the spirit in countless youth (including yours truly, back at Happening #69 last March), and God willing, will touch much more. Being on music team is something that excites me because, hey, a weekend of playing guitar and singing? That'll be fun. This also means that I likely will not be able to post to this blog during those days, but I'll sure have a lot to say when I return!
• In secular news, I finally got around to starting Divergent. So far, not so good, but we'll see.

Nothing clever to say for tonight. I might have had a bit more to say if I wasn't spending the last hour watching a recording of The Amazing Race (the only reality TV show I find entertainment in, in spite of its gimmickry, annoying contestants, and disgusting product placement). Peace.

Mornin' Hays, signing off.

Faith in Blue and White

In the Episcopal Church, we're pretty big into creeds. We say the Nicene Creed following the sermon on Sundays. We state the Apostle's Creed as babies are baptized and young adults are confirmed into the Church. These all, of course, serve the purpose of being a spoken affirmation of our faith, a way for us to keep saying "Hey, we're pretty solid on God and that Jesus was his son. And that ain't changing anytime soon." As you say these more and more, they grow more a part of you, and you barely even have to read the bulletin to say them again every Sunday. You know them by heart.

Now, since I've been Episcopal since the cradle, and since my mother's side of the family also has Anglican roots, it's pretty clear that these creeds would be often spoken by me in church (and, when shit's really going down, in public). But before I was smart or old enough to understand the words of this creed, my parents raised me to know one other creed by heart. A creed of to affirm my love and reverence for my place of birth, and the heart and soul of that land. A creed to hail the brightest star of all, clear its radiance shine. It reads as follows:

I'm a Tar Heel born

I'm a Tar Heel bred,

And when I die, I'm a Tar Heel dead

So it's rah rah, Car'lina-lina

Rah rah, Car'lina-lina

Rah rah, Car'lina-lina

GO TO HELL DUKE

I write about this primarily because I'm going to need to reaffirm this creed multiple times this evening in tonight's basketball game(s) against Duke (both Men's and Women's. Go figure). Those who know me personally should know also of my passion for UNC athletics. Although I never watched sports themselves for most of my youth, the damage was already done by the time I watched my first game. When kids in school talked about how cool Michael Jordan was, I trumped them all by pointing out that he played for my team. When I wasn't even four years old, I once pointed to a Duke logo and exclaimed "They suck!" with pride. To a preacher.

Now, I would be remiss if I didn't point out the fact that I still put all of my pride in NC even though I have lived in South Carolina for almost nine years. A land where "Carolina" is associated with red and black, which I can only condone in the similar manner that the rest of the world must put up with the United States' failure to convert to the metric system. A land where I was expected to be silent because the Heels' football program was put down by both the Gamecocks and Tigers in recent years. (Side note: I won't be ignorant of the recent history on the gridiron, but I also think that fans of Palmetto State schools should take a look at the recent matchups on the hardwood, men's and women's. Or the diamond. Or, the soccer pitch, too, for that matter. We'll call it even). Not to mention the fact that I will inevitably end up studying in-state because of the lack of Engineering at Chapel Hill (and the undeniable reality that I would get more money to study in-state).

By this point in the post, I could just stop and let this be an empty sports column, since guys at ESPN get paid for writing way more opinionated, less entertaining content. But, I don't want people to think that I'm just another guy who spends his time profaning the television every time JP Tokoto misses a free throw (although I might actually be that guy tonight if the boys ain't playing like they should be). I can't be ignorant of the Lenten themes I've been pursuing these past few days, now, can I?

I think back to the days where I felt separated from the rest of my peers. I was isolated and I didn't really have much I felt I could take pride in as a person. It was a matter of fill in the blank: "I am the only person in Dutch Fork Middle School who ____________, and that sucks." In a way, cheering for the Heels was something that both made me feel like I had something unique that no one else did, and gave me something to follow. To believe in.

Of course, there is a word for when you put faith in something else before God: idolatry. But I am in no way implying that I thought Roy Williams' squad was greater than God, although religion was still a struggle for me at the time. But I do think that this sort of belief I had (which many others, I'm sure, have felt in their favorite sports teams) is sort of an allegory for faith in general.

Let's take this program back to Jesus, for a second, kay? Think about how hard it is to show and maintain strong belief in Christ. Sometimes you wonder "why the hell do I even believe all this?" and just try and give up. Sometimes you try and call a time-out from all the action, but you don't have any left, and after that, it appears you lose. Isn't that like putting strong belief in a team until the end, only to see them get eliminated in the tournament? 'Cause I've seen that happen before, and I wasn't all that happy.

So, really, I just want to point out the nature of faith itself. It doesn't even have to apply to a deity, really. Committing and riding it all out, all the usual stuff you hear in Sunday School, but it doesn't even have to apply to Jesus alone. I'm not encouraging idolatry, I'm just observing a parallel here.

Have trust. Have faith. If shit ain't going right, just find something to think about that will make it more right. Concentrate on God. Or concentrate on inner peace. Or on science. Friends, family. A story to believe in (hey, isn't that what the Bible is?). There's something out there for everyone to believe in, and frankly, if you find faith in one thing expires, there's another thing out there.

I'm a little burned out from writing this one, which I started early and took all day to complete. So, find what you believe in. Affirm your faith by declaring it. Tell someone who matters in your life how much faith you have in them. Pray to God. Give your support to a cause that has personal meaning to you. I could really go on.

That's all. But before I go....

Go Heels. Go America. Go to Hell Duke.

Mornin' Hays, signing off.

...For Those Who Wish To Seem

Back with original content once again! Last time I blogged for this many days in a row, I was motivated purely by the fact that Rush was releasing a new album (an album whose awesomeness still makes me crap my pants with joy, thanks in part to songs like these). The title of today's post also comes from their 1981 song "Limelight" which is partially related to the topic I have for the evening.

Let me explain what exactly brought me to the topic of discourse for Day 3 of Lent. I was chatting with a good friend of mine over text messaging today (if you'll recall from Wednesday, I am actually making an effort to communicate with people this liturgical season) since it had occurred to me that we hadn't really talked since I dropped Twitter. We talked for a few hours, even discussing the possibility of investing our efforts into a starting a sarcastic greeting card company (something I always do appreciate about these conversations: how quick they can go to absurdity and back). Eventually, I brought up the recent news I heard that Brian May and Roger Taylor were reassembling Queen with Adam Lambert for a North American tour. It was not long after that my friend (for the sake of discussion, let's pretend her name is "Haley") voiced her immediate displeasure of Adam Lambert (besides, of course, the fact that he is not nearly good enough to fill Freddie Mercury's shoes). In particular, Haley went on about her issue with his "flashiness" and how she believes that this over-the-top personality he is superficial; she also went on to say that trying too hard to force such a gay stereotype as your image "goes against the concept of pride--being proud who you truly are." (Before I continue, it should be noted that both of us, especially Haley, are well in support of gay rights).

So, to be clear, I'm not here to discuss gay marriage, although that is a discussion I would welcome for a future post. What I am here to discuss is the personal illusions that people cast upon ourselves, especially for those who seek "living in the limelight, the universal dream." What exactly prompts people to put up false identities? Masks, illusions, costumes, or other metaphors?

Obviously, there is societal pressure. We all have seen the people in celebrity culture who seem to embody stereotypes: Adam Lambert, as mentioned above, is the flamboyant gay guy, Kim Kardashian is supposed to be a paragon of beauty, One Direction is the next wave of heart-melting British boys, and Kanye is a douchebag. (Okay, so that last one is probably true on both the outside and the inside). This isn't anything new of course, remembering the reckless lifestyles of 27 Club rockers like Jim Morrison, Janis Joplin, Kurt Cobain, and so on, who also had to achieve their own personas to survive in the music world. Caught in the camera eye, some folks are forced to play a role, whether that role is themself or not. This is especially true with the rise of reality TV, where anyone who is willing to wait in line with thousands of people and make an image for themself on camera is granted a piece of fame.

So, how does this apply to us? How does putting up a facade like this affect a common dude outside the limelight? Well, it's not like we don't try and exemplify personas in order to get through daily life. I bury myself behind playing guitar, behind my callow acting skills, and my obsession with old music. Hell, even my Twitter account was like the Tyler Durden of my personality, a charismatic figure that exaggerated myself for a crowd of followers. The real us is sunken deep within, and very few can see it if we want others to still think highly of us.

So, how can we work to have pride in ourselves? "Put aside the alienation, get on with the fascination, the real relation, the underlying theme?" I think that full exposure of ourselves as people is not always something that can be done to completion in one's lifetime. As Neil Peart's lyrics in Limelight will point out, sometimes a personal barrier is necessary for survival, and when you're on the stage in front of a massive crowd (both figuratively and literally), bringing out the real you is not a spontaneous action. But in that alienation, you have to still consider what it is that you value in others, and let yourself be exposed when it really matters. The real relation. Going back to the Project Mayhem that was my Twitter, I think that although I tried hard to fictionalize myself and be the "funny guy," it still mattered to me that I didn't kill my genuine self in the process. Some of those "followers" sure do mean an awful lot more to me than just numbers to make my Twitter stats look good.

Above all, remembering yourself is remembering what Jesus made you (those of you who want a secular message can skip this paragraph and still find meaning). In this season of casting away your boundaries from Christ, the best thing to do is to let the real you live. He may not always see the light, but dammit, his time will come someday. And the Lord knows you and who you really are, and showing that person of limitless potential that dwells inside will only strengthen your relationship with Him. In the Kingdom of Heaven, all those facades will be gone.

All in all, don't try too hard to be completely naked in your true personality. But don't get rid of the real you, even if you think that it separates you from others, 'cause it sure as hell ain't gonna separate you from heaven. Don't hide the real you from those who matter most to you (the rest of the crowd can piss off, for all you care). Above all, remember the timeless words of Roger Waters:

Shine on you crazy diamond.

Mornin' Hays, signing off.

From the Archives: Predictions of Films to Come

In the past, this blog was covered with numerous posts, albeit far between. I un-published a majority of the old posts, and most of them still lie on my dashboard, waiting to be revived. Tonight, I decided to bring back one of the old posts, in its original state and unabridged. For the most part, at least. I decided to keep the old writing style and not make any revisions to improve the text as a way to show a time capsule into my past (which, if you'll recall, is not a bad thing to do during a time of reflection).

This one comes all the way back from February of 2012, when that forgettable adaptation of Battleship was rolling into theatres, and I thought I was being original by conceiving ideas for new movie-based board games. So, for your viewing pleasure, back from the past, here is Predictions of Films to Come.

What is it with films today?  Originality is falling by the wayside, plots all share a similar pattern, and a lot more movies are based of other things like TV.  Things clearly have changed, but that's nowhere near as offensive as the movies I am prepared to vent against.  That's right:  I'm talking about about the board game-based films that are becoming all the rage.  Last year, the trend began with a blatant ripoff of Rock'em Sock'em Robots (I sincerely hope I am not the only one who noticed this).  Now, Hollywood is explicitly naming the game which it is fracturing, Battleship (hint: don't your aircraft carrier in row A or column 1.  It never works out.)  Since this trend is unlikely to fade, I am going to give filmmakers suggestions for future productions (they better give me credit if they use them).

Monopoly:  A tycoon is buying away the protagonist's favorite places in Atlantic City, forcing those who come across each street or attraction to pay an unfair rent.  The tycoon ignores protests from the citizens, building more houses and raising the rent even higher.  The protagonist, a washed-out businessman, brings his car, dog, top hat, boot, thimble, wheelbarrow, iron, and battleship (somehow) across the streets in protest of this new tycoon, making sure that his business is stopped and he goes directly to jail without collecting $200 he needs to accelerate his reign of wealth.

Operation:  "Doctor, this patient is beyond operation!" cries the obligatorily attractive female nurse, who lacks any actual knowledge of the situation, to the rookie physician "how can we remove the butterflies in his stomach before its too late?"  The patient, who had recently come in with a case of writer's cramp, is running out of time.  The doctor proclaims "we can never abandon a patient in jeopardy."  So he removes the butterflies, woos the nurse, and rides into the sunset.  The patient returns to his happy life, but returns with cancer.  The doctor and extremely blond nurse return to the patient, but neither is capable of treating actual maladies, and the physician watches as his patient dies on the table.  The nurse feigns tears on the doctor's shoulder, then whines about her lame acting job to the producers.

Pictionary:  All over the world, mysterious pictures in the Earth are appearing.  Conspiracy theorists are suspecting that they are alien messages, but all of the pictures do not make sense at all, even with a hint.  Hotshot detective Billy "Piksho" Nerry observes these drawings, and is somehow able to interpret a skillet and a crude sketch of genitalia to be Peter Pan.  He and a group of his colleagues set off around the world to decode these sketches and find out once and for all the reason behind them (spoiler alert:  it's a bunch of bored college kids).

Dominoes:  In the future, people are born with mysterious tattoos, almost like dots, on their upper and lower bodies.  A group of mad scientists comes to find people with matching dots and to merge them into Siamese twins.  After these men take over the world, a motley crew of insurgents joins together (figuratively, of course) to topple these mad domino-men.  Can they set up a rally and bring down these tyrants who want to line them up and bring them down?

That's about all I had on this post. Not perfect, perhaps worth a few chuckles, and it even included an inside joke from my family. Mornin' Hays signs off again, with original content to come again soon.

Stray Observations From Ash Wednesday

Day one of Lent, and I'm already back to work. Great job, me! You're off to a good start thus far. Today, of course, is Ash Wednesday, where we get the nice little cross on the forehead, reminded of our mortality and eventual ascent to heaven... yeah, the whole nine yards. I will confess out front that I missed the chance to attend the Ash Wednesday service at church tonight, as my sister required a ride home and would not have been happy if her chauffeur slacked off on his duties. Hey, at least I didn't accidentally say all****a (a big no-no, for those of you who weren't raised in liturgical churches) by accident like I did last year.

That being said, since the most natural form of writing for me is the stream-of-consciousness, I thought I would offer a few stray observations from my experience thus far as well as my goals for the rest of Lent.

• Giving up Twitter has felt weird, but not necessarily difficult. I've discovered that my past use of it was not because of addiction, but because of impulse. Deleting Twitter from my iPad and Droid (look at how freaking privileged I am) gets rid of this impulse, and I have no emptiness when I find that it's not there. It is strange to comprehend that I am no longer receiving the constant flow of information (if you can call it that), but it is something that I'm able to tolerate in the end. I could probably live without for a while.
• So, no with distraction from Twitter now, and with Facebook and Insta rarely being that much of a distraction themselves, I AM ACTUALLY GETTING CRAP DONE. Imagine that. I've gotten schoolwork completed early, I've gotten more hours of sleep, and I have time to read the books I've disgracefully deferred for a very long time now. This is actually pretty glorious.
• Since I'm quite the avant-gardist, just giving something up ain't enough for me this season. There's a lot of crap I want to do to and reshape myself and have a meaningful experience. I got an idea from Patheos, found by clicking on this man flipping a table over (╯°□°）╯︵ ┻━┻. I might follow this a bit loosely, as I did last year, but I'm mostly trying to follow my own program. This will manifest over time, but I've decided the biggest thing I want to focus on is relationships with others (and not the kind that you say you are in on Facebook). I am not saying that I have issues with my introversion; it's part of my nature and allows me time to reflect. And blog. But since the point of Lent is building a better relationship with God, I think I should do the same with people I know. With Twitter gone, I know can actually try to have more direct conversations outside of school/rehearsals/predetermined gatherings. Got to actually take some of this into my own hands. This applies to people I see nearly daily (i.e. the folks from the predetermined gatherings I just mentioned), as well as the folks who I rarely at all (I know a lot of people from across SC, and the rest of the Southeast, for that matter, thanks to Episco-stuff). Talking more. Strange thing, right? This combines a few ideas from Patheos into one, but I'll see just how much I can expand upon this.
• I also want to consider my enemies and those who I put down. And strangers. In fact, I want to go ahead and do what I did for day one last year and give a prayer for the enemies, as Patheos suggests. So, let me bring this back from one of my old posts last year.

Lord, I know that many people have wronged me in my life.  Maybe we didn't agree, maybe they physically or verbally attacked me, or maybe they don't know they hurt me at all, but for now, that doesn't matter.  I would like to acknowledge that even though these people have hurt me, it is pointless to hold a grudge, and these people are just as human as I am, and we face the exact same problems every day.  Lord, just as you have remained by my side as I have wronged others, please stand by my enemies even as they wrong me, and by the enemies of the others as they do wrong, as well.  Please help these people through their troubles, and let them know that no amount of wrongdoings can separate them from your love.  In your name I pray.  Amen.

Whamola. And don't worry, as grossly sentimental as today was, I also want to have some more humorous, just-for-fun posts. And give some more commentary. And I hope to be more specific. But I'm not going to do everything at once because I am a simple teenager and lack the attention span or devotion to do so.

Mornin' Hays, signing off.

Give it Up

I've tried talking about Lent here before. I was going to do an entire series over the course of Lent last year, but... that didn't quite work out.  It took about three days for me to fall out of habit, which not only resulted in an inadvertent AND unfortunate biblical parallel, but also was quite embarrassing.  I had ideals, and I had plans to blog more, be a better person, all that jazz.

Okay, so the blogging thing might have fallen through a bit, but it's not like things didn't change.  During that time, I was going through the normal teenage routine of questioning friendships, feeling at a loss for purpose in life, and just being plain depressed (which might or might not have been because I was also listening to Pink Floyd's The Wall nearly daily during this time frame).   Of course, even though I didn't quite live up to the promises I made for myself, the blogging thing in particular, I do believe that I made changes.  I went to Happening, and got a huge soul-lifting and getting-on of Jesus. I made some new friendships and mended some old ones.  I got a chance to get back on the stage and perform Spirit of Radio in a packed Wild Wing Cafe (which might or might not have changed me as a person, but it sure as hell felt good).

So, what does all this mean for this year? Well, I've already done some housekeeping on this blog by reverting some old posts to draft status, and I hope to replace that stock photo of windmills in the background with something nicer, like, I dunno... Westminster Abbey?  That said, I'm not making blogging the highest priority for this season; I rather hope that it will be a by-product of the time for devotion that I'm freeing up.  See, I once said that Lent is one of four things to most people (or, I actually think it should be five).

1. A exercise program for 40 days featuring Jesus as the personal trainer. (Side note: picture Jesus being played by Richard Simmons in one of these things).
2. "Oops, I already botched my New Year's resolutions. Let's try that again."
3. Giving something you really like simply because, well... uh... if I like it, it must be bad right?
4. UUUGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHH MORE RULES. SERIOUSLY, GOD?
5. What's Lent?

The real point of Lent is to give things up only if you think that they separate you from God somehow and think that time away from these things will truly give you time to reflect and develop.  For instance: don't try to give up cussing just because people say its bad and you want to develop a holier-than-thou persona, but do give it up if you think that profanity is truly a problem and you believe that some time not using it would make you a lot less angrier.  So, think about what is really is building a wall between you and God in life.  If you can't think that far, then take the next step down and think about what is separating you from your friends and loved ones.  It isn't always easy, but if you're willing to at least try (as well as accept failure if you find that you can't follow through), then it's a resolution that's worth it.  (Also, you can technically have whatever you give up on Sundays during Lent, but they don't really tell you that).

So with that being said, I'd like to share the decision I'm making:

I'm giving up Twitter.

This is going to be a big change, and I have debated this heavily with my peers and mentors. Giving up twitter will clear out a lot of space for me to reflect and try and live up to the promise of developing a relationship with Christ that is Lent.  It opens up time for me to appreciate things I might not have before, and clears my mind to focus more on Christ. I could finally get around to those CS Lewis books I have sitting untouched on the shelf. I could get into good habits of working and spend more time praying and thinking.  I could post more reflections here on my blog.  And I could spend more time actually building relationships and talking to people, instead of depending on the not-as-fulfilling surrogate Twitter and other social media sites tend to be.

I say all this in light of the fact that although I decried it and mocked it in my earlier days, I've grown rather fond of Twitter. The witty tweets from comedic pages, the commentary of all the sports games, and the fun exchanges I've had with my colleagues.  I'm not even going to guarantee that I won't bail out, or at least try and follow that Sunday caveat I mentioned earlier.  But this will give me much more time to reflect, and find new perspectives that I might not have expected.

Regardless, I'm playing it by ear for the rest of Lent, and seeing what happens.  I'll try and post more reflections here, and I hope that I could possibly be an example for others.  There were a lot of details I omitted, and those should come around in later days.  That's about all I got, so, let the 40 days begin. Let's do this.  LEEEEEROOOY JENKINS!